Oh well

The exercise didnt work out too well. My school schedule just got hectic and I had to study for an exam. I did however study while I was in the gym one day over a hour on the stationary bike. The bike is the best place to read for school. Its much better than my attempts at reading on the treadmill, ellipical, and the stair climber.

I have not been doing so well on the diet. I think food is a comfort and maybe even a little bit of an addiction. When my husband tries to help, I get mad and become oppositional and do it because he said that it wasn't a good idea. Not that I couldn't, but that I should think about it more. I know I dont need the food, why cant I say no? This week, the goal will be to tell myself no.

The funny thing is I already had my dessert for tonight. So I guess this starts tomorrow...

Trying Exercise and Positive Thinking

I have read all over the internet that exercise will help depression and raise your mood. So I am trying to work in as much exercise as I can into my school schedule. I need to lose weight anyways, and that could be one of the things that is causing my depression. I am just not happy with myself. Food is a comfort and a crutch. I will also be keeping a food journal daily and measuring and weighting myself biweekly. Hopefully this is something that I can control and help myself. Here's to a good week...

Describing my symptoms and reasons for this Diagnosis

I am depressed. I know this. I have not been diagnosed by a doctor. I have no insurance. I don't believe that it is serious enough to NEED a doctor's help. My symptoms are: angry a lot, lonely feeling all the time, easily emotional, crying for no reasons, feelings of uselessness, no energy, lots of stress. I know that I was somewhat depressed before our move back home, but now the circumstances have made me feel even more boxed in.

Let me describe the circumstances. After four years as an Air Force wife, my husband's enlistment is finished and we move back home. We both want to finish our degrees that we started almost six years ago and have been working on here and there during the Air Force years. As school became our main goal we made a few choices to make it easier on us.
#1. Live with his parents. We chose to do this so that we could save any money we could. This money will buy us a house when I graduate (I graduate first). This also allows us to work less because we need less money to live. So that stress level is low.
#2. He works, I don't. My degree program has its classes randomly scheduled that a work schedule is hard to do. Also my semesters are more full than his. This semester I am taking 20 credit hours. However, the actual hours I am in these classes a week is 28. His regular load is 16 hours.

His parents home makes it hard to be a married couple. Fighting or discussing things has to be done quietly or in the car. This causes alot of frustration for the both of us. We share a bathroom with his brother who lives here (until recently with his ex-fiance). Honestly the hardest part was moving a three bedroom house into a 16x 20 room. The issues we have had trying to find where our things are or where to put them are endless.

Moving away from all my friends back to home where all my friends here and I are estranged. I often feel forgotten. I am a social person and miss having people to go out with. Even in this age of technology where communication is a second away, lives get too busy to stay in touch. I have times where I would love to be with friends and instead I am alone. This is causing my husband and I to have too much time together. This doesn't sound like a bad thing until you think about all the time we do spend together. There is no time apart. He is the one I talk to, which is becoming an issue since he is a man and I cant really talk to him about my problems with him. I need girl talk!!

There is so much more to explain. All of it will be discussed in time as new issues or problems arise that I need to talk about.